Dear Professor Brad Blackstone,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am Muhammad Haikal, and
the purpose of me writing this letter is to properly introduce myself to you. I
am a Year 1 student pursuing a bachelor’s in mechanical engineering at SIT.
Before this, I studied marine engineering in Singapore Polytechnic where I had
an opportunity to sail on board a container ship for 6 months. During that
time, I gained a lot of knowledge and have motivated me to pursue higher level
of education to expand my knowledge further.
One of my strengths in communication skills is that I can
work well with my peers. I can express my thoughts confidently with different individuals.
Additionally, I listen well to others and comprehend their perspective. On the
other hand, the drawback is that I am very bad at presenting to a sizeable
crowd. Mainly because I have stage fright, I will get very anxious which then
makes me lose coherence in my speech. Having said that, I am not afraid of getting
constructive feedback or criticism as I know what I can improve on.
I have two goals that I aim to achieve in this module, which
are enhancing my interpersonal abilities and report writing. I strongly believe
that communications skills are just as important as technical skills.
Furthermore, I aspire to come across as knowledgeable and polished when
presenting to any audience. I will try my very best to overcome my fear and become at ease when making presentations.
My courage and perseverance are what differentiates me from
the rest. Since the world is filled with opportunities, I believe that I am
unstoppable in achieving my objectives if I put effort in it. I am looking
forward to learning and improving myself in your class!
Best regards,
Muhammad Haikal.
(CJ, Zaki, Yi Han)
ReplyDeleteGreat letter overall. Can see that you have used PEEL for it. Efforts made to explain how you are looking forward for this module and make improvement from your past but can be more deeper.
Dear Haikal,
ReplyDeleteThsi is an informative letter. I appreciate learning about your background, your comm skills and your goals. What you might have done to make this essay have more depth is provide more elaboration. For example, what did you do on the ship? In what settings have you acted confidently or been unsure of yourself when presenting. You could give more precise descriptions of actual situations.
One minor hiccup with the overuse of caps is this: I studied Marine Engineering ....
An issue with sentence structure is this:
-- I gained a lot of knowledge and have motivated me to pursue higher level of education to expand my knowledge further. > (What is the subject of 'have motivated me'?)
I look forward to working with you more this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you, Prof Blackstone, for the comment. I appreciate it. I will make the necessary changes to the letter.
DeleteRegards,
Haikal
Great letter! Made me feel like I really got to know you a lot better. The PEEL format really made your letter feel structured and organized, and it was very informative.
ReplyDelete